Sunday, January 30, 2011


A pyramid scheme cleverly disguised as a religion, founded by the bigamist, pederast, con-artist, thief, possible murderer, and asshole L. Ron Hubbard. As for his bad points, he was also the author of some of the most hackneyed and ludicrous science fiction stories until George Lucas’ most recent celluloid abortions. Scientology is the result of combining every single bad tendency of the major faiths of the world: Catholicism (incomprehensible Byzantine power structure); Judaism (all-consuming obsession with money); Islam (desire to destroy everything that criticizes them); and Buddhism (silly uniforms, chubby prophet). Scientology has scored its major victory with the conversion of several prominent figures in the entertainment industry, proving beyond a doubt two already foregone conclusions: 1) actors are assholes, and 2) actors are idiots. From these irrefutable facts other inferences about actors can be made, such as that a teenage runaway in need of some quick cash and a place to crash can do what they do just as well for 1/1000th the pay. Scientologists rank among some of the most reviled figures in history, including Carl Panzram, Atilla the Hun, and Tom Cruise.

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